Nip/Tuck sucks…enough already!

10 02 2008

nip-tuck-trio.jpg

What happened to this show? The first three seasons were awesome, filled with cutting-edge plots and magnanimously flawed characters, but now the past two seasons are just too much. They are no longer “pushing the envelope” of cable television because what they’ve done is gone beyond “the line” and ventured into “ridiculous territory.”

From Rosie O’Donnel’s stupid character, to Christian’s uncontrollable sexual urges and inflated ego, to Sean’s mid-life crisis bordering on perversion, to Matt’s (aka Michael Jackson’s) drug addiction and consistent failures, etc. etc. The only reason I continue to tune in is because of the writer’s strike and lack of original programming these days. But come on, this is just STEEWWPPPIIIDDD.

I think television is supposed to take real-life drama and escalate it to the next level, to transport audiences beyond everyday perceptions of reality, but Nip/Tuck has gone way overboard.

What’s more, it paints women in an extremely ugly light (and I’m not the only one noticing). If they’re not whores, they’re greedy, conniving, narcissistic bitches. And then the men…Christian is the most pompous, egocentric, misogynistic piece of shit human being, but this show elevates him to the status of kings (scary to think there may be men out there, or impressionable young boys, vying to become such a person). His degradation of women is absolutely appalling, which in the beginning merited some exploration for the sake of character building, but now after five seasons, it’s a tired flaw that’s highly offensive. And if I have to see one more ass shot, I swear to god…

Bottom line: Nip/Tuck needs to be Nip/Plucked from television. A change of location is NOT enough to warrant this show’s continuation. It’s going to take a lot more than that, folks.





Elisabeth Hasselbeck – Mind getting pregnant again?

10 02 2008

elisabeth.jpg

Why is Elisabeth Hasselbeck still a cohost on The View? In fact, how did she ever manage to get a job on that show? What does she bring to the table but a yappy mouth spewing conservative crap. I mean, seriously, how has she continued to remain on this show for five years now? What is Barbara Walters thinking?

I wonder what her cohosts think of her. I’m sure Joy thinks she’s one of the most annoying people she’s ever encountered, especially since Elisabeth consistently talks over her. Sometimes I catch Sherri Shepherd (who I also cannot stand by the way – what is with those wigs?!?) looking at Elisabeth like, “Girl, you need to shut your trap!”

I’m sorry, but isn’t there someone else out there that would be a better fit? It seems a lot of people are discontent with Elisabeth’s presence. It’s great when she’s on maternity leave and they have guest cohosts fill in. What a nice break from that high pitched, shrill voice that forces its way into almost every dialogue. It’s getting to the point where she has become the most vocal one on there! And the questions she poses to the guests often don’t make much sense or warrant acknowledgement. She’s embarrassing to watch!

Please, Barbara, find someone else to replace this poor woman. Her claim to fame is having appeared on a season of Survivor, for god’s sake.

I’m not naive. I realize replacing her at this point is a remote possibility (the show seems to exploit the controversy surrounding her to increase its ratings), so perhaps I’ll just hope for Tim to knock her up again.

Elisabeth, sweety, time to get pregnant again, and think about taking some permanent maternity leave this time around. Did you ever consider switching over to Fox – you’d make a great fit…I heard they’re hiring…just please leave…you consistently ruin my perfectly good mornings with your irritating babble. I just want to enjoy my coffee and “Hot Topics” without the chirping.





Pick *me*. Choose *me*. Love *me*. Meredith Grey – The Most Unsympathetic Character on Television

9 02 2008

meredith.jpg

Meredith Grey. The lead character on the show, Grey’s Anatomy, who happens to be the WORST character on the show (apparently others think so as well). I am so sick and tired of listening to her whine about her relationship with McDreamy and her estranged father. Meredith, just shut the fuck up already and get a fucking life! Grow up and quit being so goddamn dependent on men! And for god’s sake, be a friend to those around you and listen to what THEY have to say for once in your life! The world does not revolve around you!

There are so many pathetic qualities about that character, I don’t even know where to begin. I can honestly say I was never a fan of hers from the beginning. The ambitious, confident Christina and the sweet, vivacious Izzie are my type of characters, people I could relate to and respect, probably because they are strong, independent, and do not evaluate their worth based on how many guys are after them. But Meredith, she’s a sorry excuse for a woman. She plays mind games with men, constantly talks about HER problems like she’s the most unlucky person in the world, and CANNOT make a decision for the life of her.

You know, I’ve seen these women before. I had a friend in high school who was “that” girl…you know, the one the guys were always after, the homecoming queen, the sports star. She constantly sought to be the center of attention, and often was. In fact, people followed her around like little lapdogs, especially the men. She constantly had a boyfriend, which is fine, but she couldn’t survive without a boyfriend. And it continues to this day! In fact, she’s marrying a guy who is so wrong for her, but since everyone else is getting married, she cannot get left behind! She cannot have her friends be engaged well before her! Heaven forbid! I give it less than a year…

But back to Meredith. What a poor example for women out there. She drags men into her sick little drama of a life, whines and constantly complains about her inability to commit, faces her biggest crisis of having to choose between two men (oh god!), and uses her friend, Christina, as a therapist she should be paying $300/hour for! In fact, what’s up with her friendship with Christina? I find it hard to believe someone so strong-willed and refreshingly blunt would put up with Meredith’s shit. It doesn’t make any sense – Christina would be the first one to slap the bitch across the face and tell her to give it up! But whatever…they need the characters to interact, so they made them friends. Oh, and it lends itself to another stupid little plot point – Izzie’s jealousy. Izzie, seriously, nothing to be jealous about.

And what about Meredith choosing not to swim when she fell in the water, or whatever the hell that storyline was all about. Fucking Derek should have let the bitch drown. But instead, he dives in, rescues her, realizes she gave up on life like the selfish little bitch she is, but STILL fails to acknowledge how pathetic she is, how unworthy she is of his love and attention. Shit, Derek’s just as bad as she is! I guess they deserve each other! Sure, he appears to finally be giving up on her and moving on, but we all know THAT’S not going to happen. That stupid lovey dovey conflict is the storyline that show loves to exploit. But if they keep doing that, they’re going to alienate their audience (if they haven’t done that already) and quickly find themselves with a series finale.

One final point, quit being such a bitch to your stepsister! She didn’t do anything wrong, she didn’t set out to hurt you! She had nothing to do with your estranged relationship with your father! Don’t you get it? Your father knew you were a sad, sad soul! Your mother was a bitch, and now you are a bitch! Get it together, or you’re going to find yourself out in the cold with no one willing to give you the time of day. Time to start acknowledging the people around you…sit down and have a chat with your sister…you may learn something from her…like how to be a decent human being.





The Top Three Most Annoying TV Characters

6 02 2008

This is just an introduction to set up three blogs that I will be writing over the next week regarding a specific theme (I have to take a break and watch TV to get motivated enough to do some justice in my rants about these women before I begin this blog bitchfest).

So I have some real issues with three TV personalities, two are characters from popular shows and one is a talk show personality (and is married to a back-up quarterback…can you guess?). My goal is to basically blow off some steam so as to alleviate some of the tension that’s built up from watching these characters now for several years. It’s really a wonder why I continue to tune into these fuckin’ programs considering it usually leads to me getting pissed off and launching into an all out shouting match with the television.

You know what, maybe I’ll just lead off by telling you exactly who I am going to talk about. So, in no particular order, here are what I deem to be the three most annoying people on the tube these days (in no particular order – they all suck):

1. Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View

2. Meredith Grey of Grey’s Anatomy

3. Julia McNamara of Nip/Tuck

I should note that my attacks on Meredith Grey and Julia McNamara are strictly character-based and have no bearing on the two actresses that play those characters (I’m sure they are lovely people), but my attack on Elisabeth Hasselbeck is definitely an attack on all that embodies this woman poor excuse of a woman.

I challenge those of you reading to disagree with me and make a case supporting these characters. If you agree with me and would like to add additional comments on why these people annoy the hell out of you too, please leave some comments – would love to hear them!

Thanks. Hope you enjoy.





Male and Female Friendships

6 02 2008

gender1.jpg

Ok, so I got into a rather emotionally charged discussion today about relationships between males and females, like how to be friends with a guy and keep sex out of it. Basically, a friend mentioned how a girl he used to have sex with ten years ago has recently gotten in touch with him and wants to stay at his place while she visits the city he currently lives in. She wants to, something to the effect of “hang out, have some wine, and chat like girlfriends.” So this guy is thinking “ok, number one, I’m not a chick, and number two, she wants to have sex with me.” The thing is, this girl is married (ok, you’re thinking “so what”), but the guy thinks that she should make her intentions blatantly known because he’s a guy, guy’s think about sex all the time, and they’ve slept together, so she needs to acknowledge if this is truly a “friend” thing, or if she plans on screwing him. I guess if there is alcohol involved and the two people have a sexual history together, one could go ahead and assume the sex may happen again. But isn’t it possible for them to just hang out and be friends without the sex? Why must this girl have to come out and say she doesn’t want to have sex? So what if he’s a dude! She obviously enjoys his company and wants to hang out, and “hang out” does not equate “sex.”

I guess I thought about it from my own experience of having a male best friend. Ok, so we also had a sexual relationship in the past. It wasn’t a “mistake,” but I wasn’t into it (I’m into women). I have since explained to him repeatedly that that is not the basis of our relationship – we are friends, and there will be no sex or a future boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I should also acknowledge that I made my intentions known to him before so as to avoid the blurring of our relationship by saying, “Just so you know, I’m not having sex with you” and his response was a very asshole “what, you’re that high on yourself and just assume that I want to have sex with you?” And I’m thinking, ok buddy, the fact that you are practically groping me right now means you’re NOT thinking that right now? Come on. So that approach pretty much backfired and put a momentary kink in our relationship where I was offended and he was embarrassed.

So anyways, time has passed (almost a year), and our relationship has been strictly platonic. Now we are going to be living together as roommates once I move to LA, but now, after hearing this guy’s story I explained above, the question remains – is it a bad idea to live together with a guy friend because we happened to have sex before? We’re beyond that now, but according to this guy I was talking to today, it’s a bad idea, it will never work, and it’s unfair to my guy friend because he will always be wanting the sex. What?!? Can’t we just be friends who live together? Is this not a viable possibility due to our “past” history?

I’d like to think men have some self-control and can get beyond this whole obsession with sex insofar as my friend can live with me and bring other chicks home to have sex with instead of me. I mean, seriously. Our friendship should be stronger than that.

Any thoughts? Leave a comment. Maybe I will add more to this later as I marinate over it for the remainder of the day. (FYI, love the word “marinate” – heard it used on the movie, Kissing Jessica Stein – hilarious film that explores relationships and the fluidity of human sexuality – check it out)