Continued Thoughts and Complexities on Male/Female Friendships

14 02 2008
Wow, thanks to those who provided feedback! I thought I’d start another post since my comments were so long : ) Perhaps others would like to chime in!”Girls give out a lot more than they even realize. Any kind of flirting will get a guy thinking he’s got a chance because we’re too often naive and foolish; also lead by the little guy down below so to speak. Innocent flirting is dangerous. Women know they have advantages over men that they exploit too often for their own advantages.”


I appreciate your point about women giving off mixed signals. I’m not going to deny that we like the attention men give us and often respond in very flirtatious ways. It’s probably not fair to men, but women are often dealing with their own insecurities, so when given attention, we tend to thrive on it. I’m not trying to excuse women’s flirtatious behavior. I hear what you are saying and agree that women do exploit this “power” they have over men…that’s what we call a cock tease, right? Yeah, I’ve been guilty of that before…not fair and I need to remember that, especially if my friend and I are to have a healthy living situation.

“Considering you are into women it might possibily work, but I have a feeling you will need to be the one to keep the hold on the friendship and keep it there. Face it, men are men and men think about sex like every three seconds. I’m not sure how many guys have told me this, but it’s also a proven fact.”


You raise very good points as well, and I agree that it will be up to me to keep our friendship in check and stand firm in the event that my friend and I start walking that fine line again (which usually happens when we’ve been drinking and our inhibitions are lowered).

I think part of the reason why I have blurred the lines in the past is that I’m still trying to figure out my own sexuality. I grew up in the Midwest where homosexuality is not as tolerated as say, LA, and my parents are still very much in denial and unwilling to talk about it, so part of me still has a lot of “coming out” to do, meaning I need to be open in the gay community and date people. I have not dated a woman since my first and only girlfriend 4-5 years ago – god that’s a long time! But I think that because I am still growing as a person and trying to figure out, and be comfortable with, my sexuality, I gave in several times to sex with my friend partly because I was curious to see whether I could enjoy it, to see if perhaps I was missing something, that I wasn’t gay? I don’t know….bottom line is, I’m gay and do not enjoy sex with men.

As for men thinking about sex all the time, I think sex is probably on my mind just as frequently because I’m horny as hell and not having any! In fact, that’s one of the great things about my friend! We can talk about how hot chicks are, how we’d like to “bend her over” (we often get vulgar) and about the “sessions” we needed to have on any given day! LOL…he’s really a great friend! I’m confident everything will work out…he’s too important to me for it not to!

Thanks for your comments!